Lordy, Lordy, it's 10W-40

Just like an oil change renews the life of an internal combustion engine.........I've been using the website www.meetup.com as a virtual  oil change for my social life. The main function of motor oil is to lubricate moving parts, it also cleans, inhibits corrosion, improves sealing and cools the engine. Man could I write paragraphs of analogies on all that! Suffice it to say, that my internal engine needed all that in the last few years, ha.

The meetup events this summer have been stellar and loaded with stories that I can retell at future events. Here's just a few:

There was the Writers Meetup where the members were all trying to get their work published. Some writers were creative and colorful with tats and piercings others were corporate types by day and writing chick lit and horror tales by night.

There was the singles dinner party at T.G.I.F. where the lone man at our table of 13 women leaned over and asked to finish eating my meal. It struck me as so funny that I had to shrug and say yes. Then when dessert came, he was quick to offer me the first bite of his cake.

We went camping with a single parents group in June. There were 3 families, 3 adults, and 5 kids. Their plans for some slow cooked chicken were going slowly and the kids were getting hungry so I took my one pound of hamburger, and like the multiplication of fishes and loaves in the Bible, I created a slew of tiny white castle burgers on the grill and filled their satisfied tummies.

In July I went to an outdoor festival with a meetup group to hear the Johnny Holm Band - renowned in Mpls for music and dancing. After introducing a few local celebrities that were among us Johnny asked all the meetup singles to wave their hands in advertisement of being single and we all screamed in surprise. Of all the gals and guys that came with our group, only my friend that I brought to the party actually met a great guy and has been happily dating ever since.

The best meetup so far was the sailing trip to Duluth. How crazy was it to commit to a 3 hour car ride with complete strangers for a day on the lake? Well crazy turned into fabulous as we laughed and dished and shared stories that wove us together as friends. I have this quote on my fridge: "risk is the price you pay for opportunity." That risk had a great payoff and now we're looking forward to more events.

I can clearly see that my friends on meetup are keeping my parts moving, cleaning up my ideas of fun, and totally inhibiting any corrosion on this engine. I feel like I'm 21 again and ready to take on the world. I’m finding that being single doesn't mean being alone it means having choices and mustering up the confidence to make a new choice every day.

Enjoy this tune by the Beatle's singing Revolution.....it's time for a change

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrkwgTBrW78

If Life is a Highway, Why am I in the Woods?

Summer is here and road trip season has begun. I've completed my first weekend trip circling around Northern Minnesota, 6 hours away from home, and back again.

There's a great feeling of independence when you're driving with the wind in your face, the tunes blasting, and the family fast asleep in the back seat. In the previous chapter of my life, my stellar role as navigator was only eclipsed by my cheetah-like ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle. Now that I'm steering and navigating.......I have a new Mountain Dew-inspired ability to stay awake and I'm loving it!

We have 3 more road trips planned for this summer. Thanks to my low budget planning and our new family sized tent we'll get to see a little of Wisconsin this year (go Packers). Sure I'd rather be staying in a 4-star resort using the jet skis and waiting for my spa appointment.....but given the choice of living my life or just dreaming about it......I'll gladly downsize to a camping vacation if it means exploring the beauty of the woods with my family. The spa will have to wait for another day.

Don't you love beating the odds and finding the sunshine after the weatherman has predicted a total washout of a weekend? Don't you love finding cheap dime store treasures that remind you of what being a kid is all about? That's what I love about summer vacations; all the surprises that pop up and make the day so memorable. All we have is our memories, let's make some good ones this summer!

Enjoy this little tune by Rascal Flatts singing, Life is A Highway, from the movie CARS.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvsmRuRp4cM

"All my friends know the low rider," as sung by the rock group WAR.

Low riding cars are both cool to drive and cool to look at. It's the low riding jeans that I have a problem with. When some fashion trends appear on the scene.....well you can only idle in Drive so long before you're dying for the Red Light to change.

Full figured gals, like myself, don't fit well into those low riding jeans. Our muffin tops are exposed as McMuffin tops loaded with extras! The other day I shopped a Consignment Boutique and found my summer steal - a low priced pair of black cotton pants. Behind the curtain of the dressing room I started to giggle. First I pulled up one leg and then another and kept pulling up and pulling up until the "waistband" finally rested well above my belly button. OMG, how many years ago were these pants made? What decade did some gal walk the streets of Mpls styling and profiling in these high waisted pants? They were so retro (and comfy) I had to treasure them for my own.

Another fashion trend I have to pass on is the girlie t-shirt that is 2 sizes too small. Does every woman under 30 have to wear their cotton t-shirts with a coordinating shirt underneath from the little girls department at Sears? No matter the size of their muffin or how low their jeans can go....the rest of their body is wrapped in cotton so tight it looks like colored Saran Wrap. Gone are the days of the Glamour Do's and Don'ts that warned against tight blouses, showing bra straps or panty lines.There seems to be no rules in fashion anymore; anything goes.

Now a cool car has something fashionistas can only dream about. The universally cool car will have a classic shape, a tried and true design, all the mechanics of a fast hot car with a kick ass stereo system. Women don't walk down Nicollet Mall humming some tune about their new low riding jeans. But you can bet some 65 year old in his Chevy low rider is definitely humming a few bars of ..... "take a little trip, take a little trip, take a little trip with me."

Enjoy this retro blast of WAR singing Low Rider. Hike up your jeans and sit back and enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A0U7jakUY8

Roundabouts

Roundabouts. You either love 'em or you hate 'em. They are everywhere now. The big cities have them and the suburbs have them too. I think they're great. Roundabouts allow you to make U-turns within the flow of normal traffic.

I've been thinking about U-turns lately. Changing direction is scary but feeling stuck can be much worse. It can be that our change is dependent upon our life or it can be that our life is dependent upon our change.Sometimes we change as a response to exterior pressures and other times it's an inner angst that sparks a fire within us until we just can't ignore the heat.

It has been said that life is filled with "second acts." As one who has lived through Act I and is just beginning Act II, I'm hoping there will be a long run of Act III before the last and final curtain call. 

Like a roundabout circles around a center island, I really admire people that circle around their primary calling but take advantage of all choices that a U-turn can bring. For example, a childhood friend with a very respectable career, a marriage and small kids has begun  a new part time career in comedy. Another friend working 9 to 5pm in a business office works 7 to 11pm in local theater. A third friend began motherhood as a stay a home mom and has now transitioned to a new career in the classroom. All second acts. All decisions that began with a raging fire in the belly.

We 're lucky if we have opportunities for U-turns and even luckier when they work out. I'm all about second acts and second chances. It makes me want to stand and applaud my friends. I want to share in a little of their heat. I want to warm my hands over the fire that has grabbed them. I want to keep those embers of fire in my belly so that I'm ready to take the next U-turn when it comes along. Roundabouts rock!

Here is a great song by Kelly Clarkson. She sings..."make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and breakaway."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-3vPxKdj6o

The Golden Girls

A nasty reminder came in the mail recently, it was another invite to join the AARP. No thanks! But it did get me thinking about retirement.

I don't have much of a plan but my sketchy dream is to live out my golden years with some BFF's in a condo in a warmer climate. We'll take walks on the beach every morning and we'll shop the boardwalk every afternoon. I hope to keep my car in the carport and do all my boardwalk commutes with a little shuffle and a little wiggle. Ah and then we'll rest up and get partied up for our evening dates. Assuming there's more than 3 eligible bachelors in our senior community.

Sounds familiar doesn't it? I think that show, The Golden Girls had it right. We women can have it all. Even if we can't remember where we put it, our BFF's will help us find it, ha.

I've been lucky to still have my very first friends. They were some of the first girls I met in the neighborhood, back in the day. We don't ride our Raleighs to Seven-11 anymore. We don't put on fake accents to meet boys at the beach. We've graduated in many ways. But we still meet up for brunch or lunch and laugh about the old days.

As life gives us some twists and turns we'll be there for each other just like Bea Arthur was for Betty White. I'm looking forward to my retirement and living out my Golden Years with my Golden Girls. So if in 20 years your phone rings and someone with a giggle asks....."Do you have Jim Bean in a bottle? Well let him out he's drowning" you'll know it's me and the girls pulling prank calls from our condo on the beach.

Enjoy the theme song from the TV show, The Golden Girls

http://www.myspace.com/video/noizyneighbour/andrew-gold-thank-you-for-being-a-friend/5510300

Out on the Streets (Bruce Springsteen)

As I scour the database at work editing addresses putting commas in place, capping proper nouns, and extending those nasty abbreviations I've come across some great addresses and it's given me pause to think about street names. I wonder, would the name of your street seal the deal when buying your next home?

We have a Columbine Avenue where I live. Selling a home on that block must be every realtor's nightmare. Or would your kids have nightmares....... living on Loch Ness Road? Every little girl would love waking up on Rainbow Drive or Enchanted Point.  How about Candy Cove or Sunnyslope?

Growing up in Richfield, we had a house a few blocks over that, despite having a practical and numerical address of 12th Avenue, was totally haunted. I never saw a soul in the place and it was old and rundown with busted attic windows frequented by bats and stray baseballs. Anytime I had to pass by I would quicken my step and always, always cross the street to be a safe distance away. And if on Halloween I made my way over there on that dark scary night.......well I knew I wasn't ringing their doorbell for treats (or tricks).

Neighborhoods get their reputations from the homes, the people that live in them, and the surrounding street names. Given my penchant for wanting to live like a Queen I've always felt drawn to the King's Highway stretch of gorgeous old homes in Minneapolis near the lakes. They are regal and old school with landscaped yards and inviting paths leading up to the door.

I wanted funky architecture and secret doors leading under the stairs in my first home but instead I found my way to a set of identical town homes set one atop the other. It wasn't old and it wasn't unique. There would be no Nancy Drew mysteries to solve under my stairs because I didn't have stairs. Ah, but it was new and so bright and filled with possibilities. What clinched the deal for this wide eyed first time home buyer? The address of course........Providence Drive!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qZbyLsiHzY

Enjoy this video of the Boss, Bruce Springsteen, singing Out on the Streets.

Rocking Down the Highway

As I'm listening to the Doobie Brothers sing an old classic, "Rocking Down the Highway," it makes me value the work of my mechanic that got me back on the road last month. Where would we be without those greased up guys in coveralls?

Repair shops outnumber donut shops - but it takes a special car crisis for the names of these mechanics to be whispered about. Like the rumored little black book that single men kept with the names and phone numbers of all their dates......today's married men keep a crumpled yellow post-it note buried deep in their wallet with the name of their favorite mechanic. More than once I heard the phrase whispered benevolently......well......yes....I've got a guy you can call.

My truck is back on the road thanks to Shakopee Midas and all their hard work. It comes and goes and hums and purrs in all the right places. Now I have the open road before me and all summer to plan my road trips. Did I mention how cute the mechanic was that handed me my keys? I might have to go back for the free tire rotation after 2K miles. Why you ask? Because I'm a little curious about how many pages are in his little black book, LOL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHJaqe12BIc
Check out the link above to hear the Doobie Brothers live.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

To fix or not to fix: that is the question. I have an old truck with great bones that got a little sick this week. I had to decide whether to end our relationship (which I've been pretty good at lately) or whether to stay committed. The decision cost me a pretty penny. When I was a young girl dreaming about love......I always wanted my legacy to be one love and one man for one lifetime. Funny how with cars there's no cultural assumptions on the love life with your car. In fact, if you believed the commercials, society expects us to upgrade our wheels to appear successful and popular - driving something used and worn would never fly as a commercial on Super Bowl Sunday.

Speaking of flying, my first car crush was the jalopy in the movie, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Silly, eccentric Dick Van Dyke tinkered with an old car until he could get it to fly. Man, I wanted a flying car. Sure the Jetson's had rocket cars that flew in outer space but I wanted something that would take me from the East side of Richfield to the West side on a Saturday.

A girl's history of her cars is like her long list of boyfriends. We can remember our "first" like it was yesterday. And if we were frugal and moderate with our money we can list on one hand of all the cars we've "driven." If you need 2 hands or more for the list......well let's just say you've been around the block more than me.

I'd like to brag someday that I drove my truck past 200K miles and to get there I need to stay on my 3 year plan. Darn, no flying cars for me. I reluctantly paid the repair bill at Midas yesterday with a big sigh. As I walked over to my cute red truck dangling those familiar keys in my hand, I couldn't help but think.......maybe a fling with an Avis convertible now and again would be just the ticket!

Bumper Sticker: I LOVE MATH

Are You Smarter Than A Fourth Grader? I thought I was but some nights I'm not sure, ha. Homework this year has gotten exponentially harder. Turns out September - December were basically a Third grade review the teacher said and real Fourth Grade work started in January. Ack, no wonder it's gotten so hard?

As I wait for my son's phone call at 4:15pm everyday I'm anxious to hear the answer to #12 and find out how many wrong "we" got on the assignment. I'm fist pumping the air when he announces an A or a B on a Math test! It wasn't always like that. I remember hating Math and all those word problems in school. You know the kind? The new ones are just as hard........

Mitchell is driving south at 55 MPH and Laura is driving north at 63 MPH. If both destinations are 1039 miles apart what time will Laura text Mitchell to say that she's lost? What time will Mitchell run out of gas since he left on a quarter of a tank? Stay tuned and maybe some Redneck will have the answers, LOL.

All I know is it takes 2 people to do the Math, check the Math, and get it to school the next morning. We have a dog and he certainly has taken a liking to pencils and homework assignments.

Today I installed a printer to my laptop and as I unpacked the directions I had that same momentary fear I used to have in Math class. Can I do it? Can I figure it out? Will I have to ask the cute guy in the next row for his answers? No worries mate! The directions were in English (& French) and VOILA I have my first Mapquest page of directions printed. I need to catch up with Mitchell and Laura - they called from the road with car troubles, ha.

How’s My Driving? Call 1.800.GET.A.LIFE

 

Caution: This Vehicle Makes Wide Turns

OMG, I’m fat again. How did that happen? I get skinny and I get fat again. My dress size is a crapshoot. I was hoping to lose weight last fall before I started this online dating site. But it was autumn and I had to make warm comfort foods and rich desserts. Then I was going to lose weight before the holidays. Nope, too busy. Then when I met someone I thought-- - hey now I will really be motivated to lose weight! Ah, not so much. It actually gave me a false confidence to stay fat and sassy, ha.

Parking: Compact Cars Only

It’s funny; initially I was intimidated to even browse the online dating sites thinking every guy wanted a skinny younger girl to date. I’ve only just started, and maybe I’m having beginner’s luck, but so far my dates don’t mind a fat girl. What is the one thing they all agree on?  NO RAP MUSIC. There’s not a single white guy over 50 that lists RAP on their profile. I’m just saying??

Please Do Not Tailgate

My dating mantra is: fall in love 4 times but marry no one. I’d like to have consistent weekly dates that are loads of fun and after a long set of months or years then we’d naturally end the relationship when it feels right. I don’t know if that’s possible but I’m on the road to discovery?

No Parking: Pick Up and Drop Off Only

What are my stats so far you ask? I’ve chatted with 5 guys, dated 2 of them, eliminated 2, and still hopeful for the remaining good humored father of teens?

How’s My Driving? Call 1.800.GET.A.LIFE

It’s a grey grey world out there, me included. It used to be so easy when life was black and white and you judged people by how closely they towed the line. And then life happened and now the world is very grey and I guess I’m comfortable living in the grey. I have a list of what I’m looking for but my definition of SWM could still fill a thesaurus.

Dating was all just a science experiment, really. I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and see if I could find myself a nice Christian guy to date at this size and at this time in my life. It’s proving true that we are all universally bent towards love and looking for a happy relationship regardless of our pants size. If the good humored father of teens doesn’t work out though, I’m going back to scrapbooking. LOL.

Mapquest My Heart

The road less travelled made all the difference......to who? To somebody that drove a boring car, at boring speeds, with boring music - that's who. When I'm looking for direction on the road I can use a GPS, I can Mapquest it, or do the old AAA thing. All roads lead to the same destination but sometimes the getting there is messy.

The same with love. We all want it, we all seek it, it's the getting there that gets messy.

This was a big week for lovers. Lots of hype and expectation hovering on Valentine's Day. I've had the roses and chocolates and long kisses on V-Day. I've had years where the single flower came from Super America along with gas, gum, and a car wash. And finally, I had a few years where we pretended it didn't matter because were so solid (yeah, right).

Having my first Valentine's Day with a new guy in the picture set my heart aflutter. Would he be simple and tender, would he be funny and cute, or would he go over the top with romance? So many options for one special day. But alas, my non-romantic and hard working Boy Scout spent the day rescuing his family and friends from peril and destruction while I sat alone with a feeble text wishing me a happy day. Don't cry for me Argentina, ha, I'm a big girl. It was disappointing but life goes on.

According to E-Harmony, a girl should date 2-3 guys at once so as to NOT fall for the wrong guy. Oh, so the way to avoid a broken heart is to give it away to 3 guys at once? Seemed kind of risky but I am a player so I'll try anything once. I told Mr. No Romance that I was busy last night and went out with Guy #2 and then came home and found that online Guy #3 I've been toying with and invited him for coffee next week. Maybe this mashup of men, personalities, and attention will shake out in a better direction.

All I know for sure is that when I want cuddles and giggles all I have to say is SLEEP OUT and my son comes running. Our combo couch/bed is a new fascination for this younger generation. So as we snuggled in our PJ's and blankets on the pullout bed I smiled contentedly and felt so happy. Sharing a box of Thin Mints and watching Disney Channel made me think.....I'm glad the road to my son's heart is so easy.

Baby you can drive my car.....

Who is driving your car? Who is steering your life? Do you ever feel like someone else has the wheel?

Every morning I wonder who causes the traffic delays - just in the house - me or my son?

Every afternoon I progress in a stop go - stop go fashion on this new software...and feel the wheel slipping.

Every night in my dreams I awaken to Gizmo my dog, the speed bump, in bed with me. I roll over and smack right into him.Please can't I get back to that dream of Brad Pitt and I playing tennis? Enough already! A good driver knows when to follow meekly behind the big semis and when to signal and change lanes.

Seven days ago, I shifted gears and declared my bed a No Parking Zone for Gizmo. To guarantee this, I bought a new collapsible, mesh “condo” complete with a high rise view of the hallway. I furnished it with his favorite dog pillow scented from yummy afternoon naps. Each night I tossed in 2 treats and as he ran to the back of the condo I quickly zipped it shut, closing him in.

It was rough at first, but even last night when I forgot the ear plugs, I barely heard him.

  

It feels so good to have my bed back, my blankets back, and my dreams back! I feel like I’m in charge again. I’m at the wheel and I’m steering this car forward.

Funny how Jerry Seinfeld sees it all differently. He says……”If you see two life forms and one of them’s making a poop and the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?

Woof Woof

1164 Morning Glory Drive

You may recognize that TV Land address, it's only the home of the coolest 70's family on the block. Yes I'm talking about the Brady Bunch. What young girl hasn't had a crush on Greg, Peter, or Bobby? We would shriek and giggle in our fight to claim them as our boyfriend for 30 minutes every Friday night (we're talking grade school, people).

Now that I'm dating again I find myself thinking more about Marcia, Jan, and Cindy. Hypothetically, let's say every woman has been a Cindy, a Jan, or a Marcia at some time in their life. I've always been a perpetual Cindy. She's young and energetic, she appears naive because of her happy positive outlook, but she's seen the dark side and just chooses to overcome it. During the end of my marriage, I probably saw more Jan Brady than I cared to admit. All the whining and nagging and complaining and that was just my husband (just kidding). No, I had some grey, pity party days just like Jan. What I'm surprised at now is how much Marcia I'm channeling.

Who knew I'd be ready to enjoy the attention of an attractive man as he opens the door for me, pays the check, and offers up a goodnight kiss (or two). But just like Marcia.....I'm starting to get a big head and I get a little put off if the attention isn't always focused on me - me - me. Jan knew what a pain in the ass Marcia could be to live with. Can't we hear Jan in her tiny little voice saying...."Marcia, Marcia, Marcia."

There's one woman in the Brady household that really had it made and that was Alice. She had the 70's version of Friends With Benefits. She had her own career, her own car, she went years with a date every Saturday night with Mel the Butcher and she held out until the end of the series before she married the dude. Now that was a perfect hookup.

I'm learning so much about myself in every phase of this new single life. I'm making mistakes but failing forward I hope? As Garrison Keillor said, "nothing bad ever happens to a writer, it's all material."

Free Parking

 Spoiler Alert: no Monopoly cash required.

Did you know that Monopoly went modern with a credit card system? No more paper dollars to count, to rip, or lose under the couch. I didn't know if I'd like the change. Math was such a big factor of Monopoly, and honestly, it made it such a long and boring game as I remember. But all that's changed with the addition of credit cards. Now the game just flies bye. The power plays are rampant as we buy, sell, and collect rent as moguls like Donald Trump. I've played the game 3 times this month already since my favorite son requested it for his January birthday.

Change is good. Games change. Hairstyles change. Music changes.

I used to feel stuck in the 70's always preferring Eric Clapton or Rod Stewart over Kelly Clarkson or R.E.M. But when change blows through your life it's good to hang on and ride the wave. Who knew I'd be belting out the lyrics of Adele, Gym Class Heroes, or even Nikki Minaj in the car? Of course never as good as little Sophia Grace from The Ellen Show. I'll always have the 70's music in my heart but I'm dialed into contemporary music now (she says with a "Poker Face.")

Sometimes feeling stuck is like being in jail - think I'm gonna hang onto this card for good luck!

42nd Street

The shopping season is over, thank goodness. Traffic was congested, the Malls were congested, even my sinuses were congested. It's tough finding the perfect present when you have a long list of family and friends. Despite the crowds, the time limits, and all the spending - I had to be thankful I wasn't in New York shopping over the holidays. They have traffic in spades, what with the cars, the cabbies, the tourists and the ghosts of Broadway hovering over the city.

There was Tevia in Bloomingdales, with his credit cards on the counter and his hands up in the air, wailing and singing.....If I were a rich man. Over at Macy's, definitely......the sun will come out tomorrow, as Daddy Warbucks shopped for Little Orphan Annie. Some people are just hard to buy for. Marion the Librarian didn't want those 76 trombones and as Julie Andrews told Rex Harrison - no gifts darling but.... I could have danced all night. Outside on Fifth Avenue, there was Curley and Laurey..... in a surrey with the fringe on top. And there was still one shopper in a taxi 2 blocks away belting this out the window....Get ready for me, world, 'cause I'm a comer, I simply gotta march - my hearts a drummer, Nobody, no nobody is gonna rain on my parade.....

Where is that elusive perfect gift? Like every girl, some of my favorite things are..... brown paper packages tied up with strings. And who doesn't love a perfectly square box with a fabulous red bow? Why it's just.....loverly. My best gift? It wasn't .....bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens this year. My best gift, as it turns out, came wrapped in a man's woolen suit and a bright copper tie.