How’s My Driving? Call 1.800.GET.A.LIFE

 

Caution: This Vehicle Makes Wide Turns

OMG, I’m fat again. How did that happen? I get skinny and I get fat again. My dress size is a crapshoot. I was hoping to lose weight last fall before I started this online dating site. But it was autumn and I had to make warm comfort foods and rich desserts. Then I was going to lose weight before the holidays. Nope, too busy. Then when I met someone I thought-- - hey now I will really be motivated to lose weight! Ah, not so much. It actually gave me a false confidence to stay fat and sassy, ha.

Parking: Compact Cars Only

It’s funny; initially I was intimidated to even browse the online dating sites thinking every guy wanted a skinny younger girl to date. I’ve only just started, and maybe I’m having beginner’s luck, but so far my dates don’t mind a fat girl. What is the one thing they all agree on?  NO RAP MUSIC. There’s not a single white guy over 50 that lists RAP on their profile. I’m just saying??

Please Do Not Tailgate

My dating mantra is: fall in love 4 times but marry no one. I’d like to have consistent weekly dates that are loads of fun and after a long set of months or years then we’d naturally end the relationship when it feels right. I don’t know if that’s possible but I’m on the road to discovery?

No Parking: Pick Up and Drop Off Only

What are my stats so far you ask? I’ve chatted with 5 guys, dated 2 of them, eliminated 2, and still hopeful for the remaining good humored father of teens?

How’s My Driving? Call 1.800.GET.A.LIFE

It’s a grey grey world out there, me included. It used to be so easy when life was black and white and you judged people by how closely they towed the line. And then life happened and now the world is very grey and I guess I’m comfortable living in the grey. I have a list of what I’m looking for but my definition of SWM could still fill a thesaurus.

Dating was all just a science experiment, really. I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and see if I could find myself a nice Christian guy to date at this size and at this time in my life. It’s proving true that we are all universally bent towards love and looking for a happy relationship regardless of our pants size. If the good humored father of teens doesn’t work out though, I’m going back to scrapbooking. LOL.

Mapquest My Heart

The road less travelled made all the difference......to who? To somebody that drove a boring car, at boring speeds, with boring music - that's who. When I'm looking for direction on the road I can use a GPS, I can Mapquest it, or do the old AAA thing. All roads lead to the same destination but sometimes the getting there is messy.

The same with love. We all want it, we all seek it, it's the getting there that gets messy.

This was a big week for lovers. Lots of hype and expectation hovering on Valentine's Day. I've had the roses and chocolates and long kisses on V-Day. I've had years where the single flower came from Super America along with gas, gum, and a car wash. And finally, I had a few years where we pretended it didn't matter because were so solid (yeah, right).

Having my first Valentine's Day with a new guy in the picture set my heart aflutter. Would he be simple and tender, would he be funny and cute, or would he go over the top with romance? So many options for one special day. But alas, my non-romantic and hard working Boy Scout spent the day rescuing his family and friends from peril and destruction while I sat alone with a feeble text wishing me a happy day. Don't cry for me Argentina, ha, I'm a big girl. It was disappointing but life goes on.

According to E-Harmony, a girl should date 2-3 guys at once so as to NOT fall for the wrong guy. Oh, so the way to avoid a broken heart is to give it away to 3 guys at once? Seemed kind of risky but I am a player so I'll try anything once. I told Mr. No Romance that I was busy last night and went out with Guy #2 and then came home and found that online Guy #3 I've been toying with and invited him for coffee next week. Maybe this mashup of men, personalities, and attention will shake out in a better direction.

All I know for sure is that when I want cuddles and giggles all I have to say is SLEEP OUT and my son comes running. Our combo couch/bed is a new fascination for this younger generation. So as we snuggled in our PJ's and blankets on the pullout bed I smiled contentedly and felt so happy. Sharing a box of Thin Mints and watching Disney Channel made me think.....I'm glad the road to my son's heart is so easy.

Baby you can drive my car.....

Who is driving your car? Who is steering your life? Do you ever feel like someone else has the wheel?

Every morning I wonder who causes the traffic delays - just in the house - me or my son?

Every afternoon I progress in a stop go - stop go fashion on this new software...and feel the wheel slipping.

Every night in my dreams I awaken to Gizmo my dog, the speed bump, in bed with me. I roll over and smack right into him.Please can't I get back to that dream of Brad Pitt and I playing tennis? Enough already! A good driver knows when to follow meekly behind the big semis and when to signal and change lanes.

Seven days ago, I shifted gears and declared my bed a No Parking Zone for Gizmo. To guarantee this, I bought a new collapsible, mesh “condo” complete with a high rise view of the hallway. I furnished it with his favorite dog pillow scented from yummy afternoon naps. Each night I tossed in 2 treats and as he ran to the back of the condo I quickly zipped it shut, closing him in.

It was rough at first, but even last night when I forgot the ear plugs, I barely heard him.

  

It feels so good to have my bed back, my blankets back, and my dreams back! I feel like I’m in charge again. I’m at the wheel and I’m steering this car forward.

Funny how Jerry Seinfeld sees it all differently. He says……”If you see two life forms and one of them’s making a poop and the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?

Woof Woof